Oh my, it’s been a while hasn’t it. Let’s put my unexplained absence down to, oh I dunno, scarlet fever or something. Or, let’s be more nerdy, let’s say I’ve been SO busy playing video games I didn’t have time to review or preview any of them. Yeah, that sounds good. Alright, start again. -ahem- Whoa! I’ve been so busy playing these video games I haven’t had time to talk about them on this website. Boy, that sure puts me in a bit of a pickle. How about I just pick one of said games at random and start writing about it? Hows about… Split/Second: Velocity? (continue reading…)

This May turned out to be a pretty good month for gaming. First off we got Alan Wake and Skate 3, followed by Red Dead Redemption and Split/Second, coming up we have Alpha Protocol and Blur… if you’re rich and geeky, this sure is a good month for you! Sadly, I’m only one of those, and I think we’ve already established that I’m a geek. So, here’s a review of the one game I’ve managed to pick up through all these wonderful releases: Skate 3. (continue reading…)

I’m not entirely sure why I bought this game. I mean, I previewed the damn thing and declared it a horrible GTA rip-off, stating I would most definitely never buy it. And then, a few months later, a parcel arrives through my letterbox containing this, this festering pile of awful that I had foolishly parted money for. So, after forcing myself to complete the game to 100%, I have finally decided to review it before I hand it over to my girlfriend to destroy. Here goes then. Planet 51: The Game. (continue reading…)

Bioshock. That was a great game, wasn’t it? Apparently it was just System Shock 2 but upgraded, although I never played that game, so I have no idea. Still, great game. Shooting bad guys underwater, great story with plenty of interesting stuff going on, and crazy plasmid mutation thingies going on. Naturally, a sequel had to be made. So, as you might have guessed, tonight’s review is of that sequel, Bioshock 2. And boy, does it suck. (continue reading…)

Remember a while back when I did that preview of Army of Two: The 40th Day? If you can recall, my major complaint was my real life co-op partner, whose preferred version of the game consisted of being a major inconvenience at all costs. Well, I picked up the retail version of the game, and no longer have that complaint. Thank God for friendly AI. So, here’s a proper review of Army of Two: The 40th Day, the first review on this site that also got previewed (in case you were wondering). (continue reading…)

Show of hands who played this game. Come on, ‘fess up. I know you’re out there, feeling slightly ashamed with yourself for even touching the case. Some of you have excuses. Maybe you have a little girl, and she wouldn’t shut up until you bought it for her. Fair enough. Perhaps you merely rented it to boost your Gamerscore. I can accept that, don’t worry. Anyone left who bought it because they thought it might be a good game? If there is, feel free to go outside and play with traffic. In the meantime, I’ll review Hannah Montana: The Movie (The Game, or, as swaggers put it, The Experience!) (continue reading…)

Oh, hello. What day is it? Right, right. Kinda lost track of time. Spent quite some time locked up in my room. Hell, I haven’t seen sunlight for so long it feels like my eyes are burning up! Sorry? What have I been doing? Well, you see, there’s this awesome new game called Mass Effect 2… (continue reading…)

Oh come on, don’t tell me you didn’t see this one coming. What, you didn’t? Do you not read the reviews here? Well, fair enough, you’re probably here for the guides. Truth be told, so am I. But anyway, for those of you that don’t know, tonight’s review is Assassins Creed 2. (continue reading…)

If there’s anything in the world I can tell you about, it’s probably Hitler. I’ve studied the guy for years, learning all about the crazy things that happened in his life that caused him to begin World War 2. So naturally, anything involving World War Two is interesting to me. Hence why I decided to give The Saboteur a go. (continue reading…)

Remember that preview I did last? Ya know, I blasted Dark Void for not being any good. You may remember me mentioning a game called “Eat Lead: The Return of Matt Hazard”. To re-cap, it was a pretty bad game, with clunky controls and mediocre graphics, but it was different because it referenced and made fun of pretty much every single popular video game ever made. The mention to it is surprisingly quite useful for this introduction, since I was reminded of that game when it’s sequel, Matt Hazard: Blood, Bath and Beyond, got released on the Arcade. (continue reading…)